Sarah's second birthday

The house is filled with the smells of a birthday cake made to remember Sarah's second birthday tomorrow. I wish the house was filled with Sarah's laughter instead.  On the way home from work today, I stopped to get flowers to bring to her grave tomorrow and started sobbing in the store.  Yes, sobbing.  I may not go back there for awhile...

Two years ago tonight we were fighting hard--I was on a second round of 24 hours of magnesium, hadn't slept in 48 hours and was gearing up for what turned out to be another sleepless night.  In the morning my Doctors said it was time to deliver, they were concerned there was an infection brewing and it was best to get Sarah out before she got sick.  I remember hearing her cry and the doctors saying saying she was as strong as she could be for her age and I felt a moment of hope.  We held onto that hope as the days went by.

Even as tears have been falling freely this past week, and likely will continue to this coming week, in the corner of my heart I feel some peace as I look at how God has healed us and held us together over the past couple years. Tonight was a calm night filled with piano lessons, bike rides, baths and games.  I think all four of us have been a bit emotional this week (the boys know this year that it is her birthday).  I'm reminding myself of all of God's promises and holding onto the fact that He doesn't leave us, that his grace has been unfolding in our lives over the past two years and it will continue to unfold in coming years...in ways I can't even imagine.

But tonight...my heart hurts and life just feels awful.

Please join us to remember Sarah's life by serving someone else this next week.  Let's open our eyes and look for people whose hope is fading.  There are so many all around us who are hurting and need to be reminded that their story isn't over, that God loves them.  As we reach out to those who are hurting we can help people to not feel alone and see a picture of God's grace in their life.

"The Glorious Unfolding" (Steven Curtis Chapman)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3Q7wUoQV5Q

Lay your head down tonight
Take a rest from the fight
Don’t try to figure it out
Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart
‘Cause I know this is not
Anything like you thought
The story of your life was gonna be
And it feels like the end has started closing in on you
But it’s just not true
There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding

God’s plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of
His unfailing Love
And the story has only begun

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
We’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding

We were made to run through fields of forever
Singing songs to our Savior and King
So let us remember this life we’re living
Is just the beginning of the beginning

Of this glorious unfolding
We will watch and see and we will be amazed
If we just keep on believing the story is so far from over
And hold on to every promise God has made to us
We’ll see the glorious unfolding

Just watch and see (unfolding)
This is just the beginning of the beginning (unfolding)