Grieving

Grieving is a funny thing.  Life doesn't stop even though I feel at times like my world has ended along with so many dreams.  I still have boys who need to be cared for, taken to school and played with.  And my husband has work.  And there's a house to clean.  And groceries to shop for.  And on and on.  Life continues on almost as if nothing has happened.  Problem is, something did happen and I've been changed.

Mixed into such deep sadness and feelings of emptiness, we also have "normal" moments of laughter, memory building, good talks and calm hearts and minds.  But emotions are funny things...almost like creatures who sneak up and surprise you.  They have their own personalities too-some stop by quickly and let you know gently and easily how you're feeling and others want to be the center of attention and have complete control for the day.  Some slip in quietly to sit and talk reflectively and others rush in like an uninvited guest yelling at the top of her lungs.

And we deal with them in different ways too.  Pat is working even harder to provide for those of us with him and I've been organizing our house almost obsessively (although I must admit it felt good to get the piles of paperwork under control and filed for the first time in our married life!).  All trying to give ourselves a sense of order in the midst of the chaos of our emotions.

We're trying to embrace our emotions and all their personalities and let them help us to heal and teach us about ourselves.  As we do, please understand the sudden tears or the desire to talk about Sarah...or not.  And also, if you need your home organized, please call me...I'm out of projects... =)




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